i never wanted to hear what i wanted to hear, only if what i wanted to hear was the truth. why is it that some people lie so much? that doesn't make a relationship or friendship. it doesn't make you worthy of anyone else's trust or faith. its just not nice. so why do it? why can't you just tell someone the honest truth so they don't waste their time? why toy with someone? why lie to your best friend because your afrad of the reaction you'll get? at least it would be honest and they would tell you what they think. what if they were okay with it? what if you lied about something awful, would you tell the person? would you keep them hanging on, lingering on their breath to betray them again? what if that person could have been your "superman" saving you from anything that could hurt you, your "soulmate" loving you even past when your heart stops beating and theirs keeps beating for you, your "fred to barney" friendship that even when things are so wrong and ridiculous, you can't help but laugh at the end of the day? what if you let all of that go because you messed up... or a real better word, fucked up.
how would you feel if you lost that person? that person had always been there. they were willing to do anything for you, fight all your battles, kiss all your tears, sweep the dust under the carpet... what if that was the person? how can you know? how will you ever know?
do you fess up, or will they still be hurt? do you keep lying your way into a hole until your caught?

why is it that we hurt the ones we love, and help the ones we don't know? why give up the old and reliable to get the new and unknown? do we want a taste of something new? did old and reliable get boring, but we still can't throw it away just yet?

but on the complete other side of the spectrum, why do we want people who make us feel bad around? why do we let people walk all over us. why do we fight so hard for someone when all they do is push us away.

ah, the mysteries of life.