someone said something to me the other day that has been bothering me all weekend.
"i'm waiting on the world to change."
that's all.
i started thinking really into this statement wondering if she actually meant it or not. the world won't just change. people won't just change. so what was she waiting for?
people to be nicer? the world to be cleaner? her life to get better? what?
if you want something to happen, you can't just WAIT around for it... you have to get out there and take it. start it. show people what it should be. not sit on your butt watching the news and watching what's happening, and what i assume you're waiting to see change.
what do i feel about that.


and what is going on with the weather changing on me so fast? it crawled up on me too fast. i wasn't ready for summer to really end. i'm not ready for the cold. i barely had a summer!
and i've been feeling so bland lately. it'd either i don't care and feel empty, or i'm nervous, and i'm not sure why i am so nervous. school work not getting done is scaring me. not being able to get into the college i want is scaring me. not paying off car insurance scares me. gas scares me the most to my suprise.
and work plainly stresses me out. i never want to go. i'm making almost no money anymore. and i feel like a total bum, but i'd rather sleep. i'd rather play video games and watch stupid movies with derek. i'd rather be able to ride my new bike (that i used only twice this summer!), i'd rather tell my puppy how pretty she is.
this stuff is driving me INSANE.
an i think i'll start TRYING to look nicer for school. maybe if i feel better about myself, i'll feel better about everything. but if i look like a slob, i feel like a slob. so that's no good.
i'll make a rule: only wear something semi-sloppy if i'm in a bad mood, or sickly. yes.

also i've been thinking if i should cut my hair? but its so easy to handle now that i'm afraid of a haircut, esp since i want to grow it out... maybe i'll just have my mom do it for me. def.